I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
