Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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