FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
