Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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