im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My Sexting was not on an AP level
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
