Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
no you cant smoke seaweed
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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