but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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