New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
