3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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