in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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