dude i'm inner monologue high
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
