In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
