Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
