I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
