Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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