I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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