People in love make me want to vomit
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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