weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
