16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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