I heard we made out
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
