im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
