the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
