who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
