I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
id be glad to
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
