So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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