think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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