..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Operation Purity has been aborted
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
