There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
