vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
