I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
