i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
