I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
