I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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