Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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