Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
