Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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