it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
