Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
