office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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