I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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