Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
