I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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