You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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