we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You are a genius and a whore.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize