We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My vagina is officially offended.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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