if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize