Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
