Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Congratulations! We have a period
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