just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
