weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
