You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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