3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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