How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
