Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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