Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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