it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
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dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
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I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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