are you still at the devil's house?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
