Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
