I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
