my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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